Four Letter Word

A few days ago I was having a talk with someone very close to me when she told me that my "Ray" (refer to "The Audacity of Hope") said that he really did love me (at some point in time or another). I didn't know whether to curse or laugh. I think I may have done both though. It's been days and I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the idea that he believed he was actually loving me amidst all the drama going on between us, most of which have could have been prevented if he'd just opened his mouth and put all his cards on the table. I don't understand how he could believe that he loved when he left me in the dark, all the while letting me bare my naked soul to him.

As the days wore on, I softened up a bit and gave the idea of his love a chance. I tossed around the idea that since there are always two sides to a story, he really could have had love for me. But while interviewing Anthony Hamilton today about his new album The Point of It All (so exciting!), I asked him what love meant to him, and his response just may have put my mental ping pong to rest. He said, "I love you means that I'll protect you from the things I know you're afraid of. I'll protect you from things I know will hurt you. I won't hide from you. I won't lie to you. I'll keep myself open."

All I could think was "Dang" when he said that because it was so true. And it was then that I basically dismissed the notion that my "Ray" ever really loved me (though I still believe there exists two sides to a story) because he failed in all areas of Anthony Hamilton's definition of love. I'm not saying that A.H. has the last say on what love is or isn't, but what he listed are basic practices of love that most, if not all can agree with.

Love is an action word. It's about way more than how that person makes you feel or what you think you would do for them. Love is about what you actually do, how you treat that person even in sticky situations. And it's also about what you don't do. Love has little to do with you.

Now think back to last time you said this word to someone. Were you qualified to?