Four Letter Word

A few days ago I was having a talk with someone very close to me when she told me that my "Ray" (refer to "The Audacity of Hope") said that he really did love me (at some point in time or another). I didn't know whether to curse or laugh. I think I may have done both though. It's been days and I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the idea that he believed he was actually loving me amidst all the drama going on between us, most of which have could have been prevented if he'd just opened his mouth and put all his cards on the table. I don't understand how he could believe that he loved when he left me in the dark, all the while letting me bare my naked soul to him.

As the days wore on, I softened up a bit and gave the idea of his love a chance. I tossed around the idea that since there are always two sides to a story, he really could have had love for me. But while interviewing Anthony Hamilton today about his new album The Point of It All (so exciting!), I asked him what love meant to him, and his response just may have put my mental ping pong to rest. He said, "I love you means that I'll protect you from the things I know you're afraid of. I'll protect you from things I know will hurt you. I won't hide from you. I won't lie to you. I'll keep myself open."

All I could think was "Dang" when he said that because it was so true. And it was then that I basically dismissed the notion that my "Ray" ever really loved me (though I still believe there exists two sides to a story) because he failed in all areas of Anthony Hamilton's definition of love. I'm not saying that A.H. has the last say on what love is or isn't, but what he listed are basic practices of love that most, if not all can agree with.

Love is an action word. It's about way more than how that person makes you feel or what you think you would do for them. Love is about what you actually do, how you treat that person even in sticky situations. And it's also about what you don't do. Love has little to do with you.

Now think back to last time you said this word to someone. Were you qualified to?

I'm writing a novel. I can't divulge the details at this time, but I just had to share my excitement about the whole thing. I had been thinking about this for a few months now, but it wasn't until very, very late the other night when I thought up the sweetest last sentence of the novel that I said "Yes, I'm going to see this through." Since that time, I've been jotting down characters ( some real, some fictitious), mentally drafting different chapters, and I even have a title in mind. I can't wait to get started.

My President is Black!

Unfortunately, I was not in attendance in Washington, D.C. today to witness the swearing-in of our nation's 44th and might I add, most handsome president. I don't envy anyone who was there, though because by the looks of most I watched on TV, they were well on their way to a case of pneumonia they wouldn't recover from. I CAN NOT tolerate extreme temperatures, so I was more than satisfied to watch today's inaugural events sitting in front of my TV in the comfort of a heated apartment. Lovely. To be honest, though I wish I was there for the post-inaugural parties! I've never been one to be seen at a club or lounge, but I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to two-step (and a whole lot more than that) all night long on such a grand occasion.

Today marked a proud and outstanding achievement for America. Some journalists questioned the "somber" tone of President Obama's speech, but I believe he delivered what the country and the world needed to hear. He didn't sugar coat the situation the nation is in or revel in the hype of the occasion. The speech was made by a man that is clearly ready to work. No longer do we as Americans need to remain docile, voiceless people fed promises by politicians that know will never be fulfilled for the sake of maintaining trust in the political system. President Obama won his seat in the White House by winning voters with his call to hope, but now he has to prove his worthiness to remain there by ushering in an era of responsibility. I'm ready to do my part. Are you?

What Do You Do?

Last week I found out (to my dismay) that the only class I'm required to take during my final semester in undergrad will be an online class, and that I won't have a reason to step foot on campus except to attend a lab for one hour on Thursdays. OK, I am appreciative for the time I now have to work like a mad woman to stack my chips before I enter the real world, but I have to admit that I'm afraid of becoming bored out of my mind! I have a list of goals I plan to complete by May, such as be consistent with the blog (smile), study for and take the GRE, blah blah blah, but I wanted to do some things that weren't exactly school or work-related. So, I jotted down a list of hobbies I'm interested in taking up during my plenteous hours of free time, and boy am I excited to get started!

Here goes:

1. Crochet- I know it will take a while for me to get to the point of making a beautiful quilt, but I'm thrilled by the challenge of creating something with my own hands. I'm going to start with a scarf.

2. Cooking/Baking-I'm not a bad cook (if I say so myself), but now that I'm out of the dorm and I have a kitchen, I can take my culinary skills to the next level. Yum:)

3. Painting/Photography- I've never been much of an artist (can't do much better than stick figures), but I think there's something therapeutic about painting, and something completely abstract about photography. I don't know how far I'll get with these two interests, but I'll definitely give it a whirl.

4. Yoga- I am soooo pumped about trying yoga. I even found a very inexpensive beginners series in Huntsville. Who would've thought? (By the way, if anyone wants to join me, let me know because I'm a little nervous about going by myself.)

And finally . . .

5. Foreign language- Needless to say, everyone should take an interest in learning at least one new language. And since I don't want to get too ambitious, I'm going to work on perfecting the foreign language I'm most familiar with-Spanish.

Oh yeah, I've always wanted to visit the Huntsville Museum of Art, so I guess I will this semester since time permits.

I'll keep you updated on my activity. The plan is to have pics accompany my forthcoming posts about my new hobbies. This will be interesting. Can't wait:)

The Audacity of Hope

For the past few months (though it feels more like years) I've been nursing (or attempting to nurse) a broken heart back to health. It's been more difficult than I ever could have imagined to just forget. I wish I could wake up some mornings with no memory of him or be able to say his name unattached to feelings of anger, regret, or even an occasional sense of longing. Most days I feel strong, patting myself on the back for "surviving" such a blow and learning from it, but other days I feel so weak and baffled by the fact that someone had and kind of still has a power over me. I'm surprised at how I ever allowed myself to be so wide open, so transparent and vulnerable. At the time I was proud of how real I was being, in hopes and confident that it would be reciprocated, only to have those hopes be met with vague declarations and misleading actions. The first time I let my guard down in all of my 22 years, I got my heart smashed. And I DO NOT give my love to just anyone. He was the first. For the first time I was sure, and any doubts that I had I pushed to the back of mind, assuring myself that everything would work itself out. For once I didn't calculate the risk but I embraced it.

I'm not writing this post for any kind of sympathy. I'm writing it for liberation. I'm not immune to heartache. It comes to even the best of us. Disappointment is written in the birthright of the human race. I understand that. But my recent disposition (since the "incident"), which is not being the least bit interested in guys or the semblance of a relationship (even with really nice guys) had me worried that I would never feel the way I felt about him ever again . . . until today. Today I watched the movie Someone Like You starring Ashley Judd, Greg Kinnear and Hugh Jackman. I had some time on my hands, so I decided to watch a movie on the Internet. I was in the mood for something lighthearted. I had no idea though that the film would change my attitude and perspective about my current predicament.

Movie in a nutshell: Ashley Judd's character falls for one of her co-workers (Greg Kinnear) who is actually in a relationship with another woman. Eventually the man, Ray, leaves his girlfriend and starts a new relationship with Ashley Judd's character. Everything is beautiful and love is grand until one day Ray abruptly ends everything without explanation. Ashley Judd's character soon comes to learn that Ray's ex-girlfriend/now current girlfriend is she and Ray's superior at work, making the situation even more heartbreaking. Judd's character is crushed for months to come until one day her male roommate (Hugh Jackman) makes a simple statement to her that resonated within me. He said to the teary-eyed woman, "Ray is not the last man you will ever love." And for the first time in months, I believed the same for myself.


I don't miss him. I miss me. I miss my optimism that has been replaced by cynicism. I don't like the person I've become. She's cold, and unaffected, and . . . hurt. She's counting down the days until her heart will smile and sing again. She's not ready to get back in the saddle just yet. It's still taking time, but she's holding onto the belief that one day (prayerfully sooner than later) she'll wake up and unexpectedly be reunited with her former self. Despite the depth of hurt, she dares to hope.

Glow On, Girl

OK, I'm sure I'm not the only one who starts to resemble Casper during the winter months, but anyone who knows me knows that I looooove to wear bronzer and shimmer powders year round. So, I just thought I'd share some of my picks with you to help you achieve that sun kissed look even when it may be frosty and/or snowing outside.

My picks go in order from most fabulous to most affordable:)







Bronze Shimmer Brick Compact ($38) sold at Bobbi Brown












Mineralize Skin Finish ($25) in So Ceylon sold at M.A.C.














Flirt! Peek-A-Blush ($12) in Bronze Kissed sold at Kohl's

Sista with Substance: Felicia Keith

It's just another day in the life of the boss. It is with great pleasure that I introduce you to a 23-year-old woman of color who happens to be the C.E.O. of her own company. But it's not just any business. Felicia Keith, C.E.O. of Superior Minds Ent., is the brains and driving force behind a record label in an industry where men have traditionally worn the pants and called the shots. Ms. Keith, who's working tirelessly to put quality music on the airwaves, graciously took a few minutes to give Miss Major Substance the low down on what it's like being the boss lady.

Miss Major Substance: Felicia, I’ve known you since high school, but had no idea that you were so passionate about music. When did you discover that you had a talent for writing music?

Felicia Keith: I have always had a strong love for music and writing. It mainly just started with me making up songs when I was real young and then progressed to me actually writing lyrics down. I never really shared my music with anyone until after high school.

MMS: What drove you start your own record label?

FK: There aren’t a lot of females in the music industry and I can’t think of any women who actually own their own record company. I just wanted to make some changes, but mostly I wanted to bring some good music to everyone’s attention.

MMS: Where is your label located?

FK: My hometown, Houston, TX. HTOWN!! lol

MMS: How did you come up with “Superior Minds?”

FK: I like to be different. You got a lot of money, got a lot of possessions, but where’s your head at? You don’t have anything without a Superior Mind.

MMS: Who are your favorite artists today and why?

FK: You were around me for 2 years so you know my first pick is Destiny’s Child. They have always been a major influence, mainly because they were different from the groups that I knew of at the time, and they’re from Houston! Alicia Keys is also a major influence. She’s a very creative person musically and an incredible performer. Jill Scott always keeps me motivated, especially with her wordplay.

MMS: How is it being a female in the administrative position in this industry? Have you encountered any prejudice?

FK: It can be hard. Some men in this business don’t take us seriously. I’ve had a couple people make the mistake of thinking my name was baby, lol. But thank God I haven’t encountered anything too crucial regarding my gender. There are a few jerks here and there, but that comes with the territory.

MMS: What qualities do you look for in an artist?

FK: There are two major things they need to have: talent and loyalty. I’m just looking for someone different than what we’re used to.

MMS: Who do you aspire to work with?

FK: I would love to be able to write with some other writers I admire, such as the Clutch, mainly Keri Hilson, Ne-yo, The Dream, and Jazmine Sullivan. She is an extraordinary writer. Alicia Keys, any of the ladies of Destiny’s Child, Mary Mary, Solange and the list could go on. Just anyone who is willing to work hard for a great result.

MMS: What sets Superior Minds Ent. apart from other record labels?

FK: Our goal is to bring you something out of the ordinary, and a more positive movement than what you’re hearing on the radio.

MMS: What’s your vision for Superior Minds? What are your plans for the future?

FK: Well I’m always writing, and I plan on starting a writing/production team in the future. But my main focus right now is working with a very talented artist by the name of Marktavious, on his new album. The release date is pending but it will be here by the summer of '09. This will be a big accomplishment for both of us , since the writing, engineering and funding will be done on our own. I also have a blog/website your readers can check out at www. officialsme. com.

MMS: What impact do you think you're involvement in the music industry will have for other young black women aspiring to do the same thing?

FK: I hope to get to a point in my career where I can influence them into being the head of a record company. There’s nothing wrong with working for a company also, I just want us to be a lot more visible in this business, so it won’t be such a big deal when you see a woman C.E.O.

For more information, check Felicia Keith out at www.myspace.com/superiormusic and www. myspace. com/htownsownfelicia

Seven Pounds

Warning: This post contains spoilers.

A couple of weekends ago I went to see "Seven Pounds" with a few friends and now I'm writing the review as promised. Up until last night's conversation with a good friend of mine did I know how to critique this film. I knew that it left me feeling kind of, well unsatisfied. I was confused for the most part always asking myself (aloud) what what was going on. What I found most interesting about the movie was the love story between Will Smith and Rosario Dawson's characters. It was really sweet and beautiful.

I understand how Smith's character felt as though the only way to repay his debt and relieve his guilt was to sacrifice, for lack of a better word, his life in order to improve the quality of the lives of others deemed more worthy, but I don't think the end was realistic. Life doesn't end with death. Just because his girlfriend/wife/fiancee died along with six others, in an accident that he essential caused, that didn't mean that his life was no longer worth living. Rosario Dawson's character offered him an opportunity to work through, get past the pain of loss and guilt with a new relationship, but he obviously was intent on ending it all. His acts were undoubtedly selfless and heroic, but I believe that by giving others a chance to have a better quality of life, he gave up on himself. So in the end, the film was tragic. Will Smith's character couldn't forgive himself. How sad.

Those are my feelings in a nutshell.

Check Yourself

From time to time I evaluate why I started this blog (as every serious writer should) and I honestly ask myself if it is serving the purpose it was founded to serve. Last year I started this blog because I allowed a man (of all people), after a "series of unfortunate events," to make me feel inadequate. I wanted to prove to mainly myself that I was more than someone nice to look at. Hence this blog came about. Sometimes I wonder if what I post is "major substance," if I'm actually living up to my name. Yes, sometimes I would rather post about makeup than what's going on in politics, but does that make what I have to say less substantial? I mean, I review books, films, and I also wanted to create a sense of community with women of color by adding the "Sista with Substance" feature to the blog. And with that, especially, I'm satisfied.

What I have say matters to me, if to no one else. Regardless of what my point of view is, having an opinion and being able to back it up is what "major substance" really is. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still on track. Don't get me wrong. I'm still racking my brain to find and discuss interesting, relevant, and thought-provoking topics. But at the end of the day, it's going to be on my terms.

Welcome, 2009!

I've never been into New Year's resolutions because I'm more into setting goals. Plus, I set goals and accomplish them throughout the year, so New Year's Day is no big deal. A couple of days ago I made the decision that I was making 2009 all about me and my career success. This year is a big year for me. I'm graduating from college in 4 months and 8 days, and I will do everything in my power to prepare myself for the work force when I get out. A couple of weeks ago I contacted my editor at AMBERmag.com and resumed my internship during the Spring semester. I want to keep busy and keep building clips while I'm still in school. I'm studying for the GRE this semester, this semester as well. Also, I got the kooky, but exciting idea to write a novel. I've been thinking about it for about a month now. I have a catchy title and everything. I just want to make it good. Though writing is a passion of mine, I never thought I'd want to write a novel, but when I got this idea it just wouldn't leave me alone. Now I have to go through with it;) I'm sooo excited about what this year holds. At this point, it's all a mystery but I'm not fearful. I'm walking into 2009 guns blazing. Success, self-sufficiency, and financial stability are what my eyes are set on. I'm ready to walk into my future.