Over the past year, there have been so many songs praising women for being able to provide for themselves completely without the help of a man. Ne-Yo along with other R&B artists have turned the negative picture of a go- getter woman into a positive one. All of a sudden, it's sexy and actually desirable for a woman to volunteer to pick up the check, etc. In no way do I have a problem with that because I'm currently working my fingers to the bone to make myself financially, if nothing else, independent not just of a man, but of anyone else including my parents. I don't want a man to do (buy) anything for me that I can't do for myself. Maybe that's just a complex I have, but that's honestly how I feel at this present time. Anyway, since the birth of women's liberation, we've taken great strides to becoming socially "equal" with men. It's a fabulous accomplishment that we can and do compete with men for executive positions within companies. We're CEO's, managers, entrepreneurs, everything you can imagine. But there's one line that I've found that women, even in this day in age shouldn't cross: gender roles in regard to relationships.
Sidebar: I hate the fact that many of my recent posts have revolved around male/female interactions, but I just feel compelled to explore some of my thoughts. I'm growing here, people!
Anyway, I think the media plays a role in the backwards way some women today approach relationships. From what I've seen on TV and read, women are encouraged to go after not only what they want, but who they want. I even read an article in ESSENCE a few years ago that instructed women on how to give a man the "green light." One of the tips was to give him the "5 seconds," which was to maintain eye contact with a man you're feeling for 5 seconds in order to let him know you're feeling him. I actually did this once with a FINE guy. It got his attention alright. At a later date he even expressed his attraction to me, but my superior powers of mind control did nothing to lead that man to actually pursue me!
Food for thought: A woman's sign of interest or disinterest will NOT necessarily encourage a man or discourage him from pursuing her if he really WANTS to! That means that we need to stop (if we're currently engaging in this type of behavior) lingering, staring, grinning, etc. if we like a guy. If he's feeling us, he will come to us! And if he doesn't, he either isn't feeling us or he's too scared. In which case, we don't want to talk to him anyway.
It's in a man's nature to hunt, to pursue. So ladies, let's just stop putting ourselves out there for a guy to notice us when it's our job to just sit there and be pretty until he comes to get us. And isn't it just easier to deal with the guy you are sure likes you (because he actually approached you) instead of pining away for the one you've been so desperately tying to get to notice you, but seems not to be biting? Of course it is!
Well, maybe not these days because of media and social influences. I read in a book that a man notices a woman in half the time it took for her to notice him. Therefore, I conclude that it's profitable for women to be aggressive in business and all that, but aggressiveness with men probably won't make the odds of a guy genuinely feeling us any higher if he wasn't in the first place.
What do you think?
When Anthony Hamilton broke onto the music scene in 2003 with his debut CD, Comin' From Where I'm From (Zomba), it was clear: the baton of old-fashioned soul music wrapped in a distinctive voice singing "real lyrics," had solidly been passed onto the Charolotte, North Carolina native. With the release of his 2005 CD, Ain't Nobody Worrying, and his haunting rendition of "Do You Feel Me," from the American Gangster soundtrack in 2007, Hamilton's place as a modern-day R&B crooner unafraid to uplift and entice was more than evident. His singles, "Charlene" (from his first CD) and "Can't Let Go" (from his sophmore CD) quickly garnered a loyal following, warming the hearts of listeners of all ages seeking music that soothes and uplifts. Since his debut, Hamilton, 37, has kept a rapier focus on delivering the type of sound—sans the drama—that audiences love: one part blues, two parts rhythm and a dash of funk. Married to vocalist Tarsha McMillian, for the past three years, Hamilton, who won his first Grammy for collaborating with Al Green on the single "You've Got the Love I Need," credits his marriage for inspiring a lighter, more uptempo sound on his latest CD release, The Point of It All. In the first single, "Cool," featuring rapper David Banner, Hamilton continues his musical message singing about the same thing that made listeners fall for him in the first place: unrequited love. Here, he sits down with Shari Myles to discuss love, marrying the right woman, and whether men and women can really just be friends.
